The summer before third grade.
The new girl moved into the neighborhood. I seen her around sometimes. One day we were both at the park at the same time. We talked. I talked.
We became friends. During third grade, we had a group of friends. I talked more, still quietly, and I didn’t like talking in front of the class.
My friends from third grade all had different teachers, so I never saw them. The first few weeks, I didn’t really have any friends. Then, the teacher changed everyones seats. I sat next to two girls. We became best friends. The closest friends I have ever had. We told each other everything. Well, I didn’t tell them about my past, or my other secrets. I let them know my true self as much as I could, I got out of my comfort zone that year, it was the best school year, and yet it wasn’t. I’d made a “friend”, turns out she was fake.
Things were going well, but I was still shy.
During the summer, I didn’t spend time with anyone except the people I now felt confortable with; my family, including the ones that lived behind me. Every year I go back to school shy.
So, it was now fifth grade. I had things going on with my family, I havn’t told anyone either. One of my best friends had a different teacher, we grew apart but were still friends. The other one was in my class, but so was the “popular girl”. So many things happened, I got a new bestfriend, again, my old one ditched me for the popular girl. And it hurt. So bad.
I tried to get her to be my friend again, but, popularity always wins.
Then it was suddenly the last day of school. My new bestfriend, K, and my old bestfriend, M, were both moving away. I never saw them again.
- Got yet another bestfriend, C.
- Still friends with my bestfriend from forth grade, R.
- I was shy again, but it got worse.
- I didn’t let anyone see my true self, again.
- Me and R, grew back together. We have alot of classes together
- Me and C are getting into alot of fights.
- C isn’t the same as she was last year, to say the least.
- I have ALOT of embarrasing moments from class. I have tried to talk more and do better with presentations and talking in class, but I have only gotten worse. I afraid everyday to talk and I always feel my face getting hot.
Well, thats me. There are so many problems I havn’t shared. I can’t, not right now, I don’t know if I will ever be able too. I don’t know what I expect to get out of posting this on a blog, I don’t know if I should have. But, I’m going to try to post more positive, fun things. I might write about this again, I don’t know. I don’t know about anything anymore.
Until next time,